Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
