is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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