apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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