thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
