OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
