Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
