Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
