Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
