I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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