I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
