so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
