that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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