perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
