I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
