you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
