when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
