D3 body, D1 cock
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
