true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
