Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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