Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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