I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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