It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
