"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
