my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
