something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
