the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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