There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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