I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
