you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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