I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
