the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
