Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
