Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
