I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
