i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
