You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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