whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
