worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
