As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize