His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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