I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
