Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
