and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
