He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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