Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
