John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
