Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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