I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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