I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
