So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
