He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
