Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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